We don't talk anymore
by MissKirei
Summary: Chapter 2: "Enough" It was never enough, but it didn't have to be.
1. Chapter 1

**"We don't talk anymore"**

Based on the song "We don't talk anymore" by Charlie Puth

 **MISAKI POV**

We don't talk anymore.

We don't talk anymore.

We don't talk anymore like we used to.

I stare at my phone blankly, how pathetic do I look right now? I don't know. How could you reduce me to such a pathetic state, Takumi? Tears form in my eyes and drop down on the screen of my phone, right over his picture.

What are you doing, I wonder? How many months has it been? Two? Three? I've lost count.

My lips quiver as I stare at the keypad and gather the courage to dial his number. The call connects and I wait for him to pick up. It's 3AM right now so its daytime. I waited this long to call him so that he doesn't have to stay up late to talk to me. Medical school is hard, ne?

He doesn't pick up.

I'll just leave him a text…

Funny thing he was online two minutes ago.

I stare at the conversation chat box and see my previously left fifteen read messages.

He didn't bother to reply to them.

I send one again.

"Are you busy? Can we talk?"

Do I sound too desperate? I hope not. I stare at the message and send it. 3:23AM and no sleep on my mind. I really want to talk to him right now…

"Can't talk at the moment. Did something happen?" He replies at 4:21AM when my eyes pop open at the sound of the ringtone. I sit up with excitement but it fades away the moment I see the text. He couldn't have written anything else?

"Nothing, I was just bored. Are you busy?" I ask again, and my throat tightens up as I type with trembling hands. He goes offline the moment my text got delivered. I can't believe my luck sometimes.

No replies come.

I got up and went to get ready for the day. It was too late for me to try to sleep, so I figured it'd be better to make use of the time I got on my hands instead.

We don't talk anymore.

We don't talk anymore.

We don't talk anymore like we used to.

Its true.

Things changed.

Its been almost four years since I've seen the goofy Takumi who used to stalk me all day long. Things have definitely changed. We talk once a few months and I can't decide if he's just busy or tired of me.

I don't understand. Did I do something wrong? I stare at our old pictures while sitting in the corner of my seat in a metro. Its 10PM and it's the last train for today. College is tiring for me as well but I don't understand how he manages to get so busy that he can't even give me the time of the day.

It feels like we're drifting apart…separating piece by piece. I used to think that distance did not matter if your heart belonged to each other, no matter how clichéd it sounded coming from someone like me. But I think that distance matters if our hearts are getting further away.

 _"We're too far to exchange the whispers of love."_

I sent him this as I drank my tears as I walked towards my hostel. Several messages from my colleagues laid unread in my inbox as I stared at his picture with my heart shattering. I missed him, terribly so. What happened to us?

He's become more or less like a stranger to me with each passing day. I haven't seen him, or heard his voice in so long that I'm starting to question his existence. Did he really exist or did I simply hallucinate? I don't know anymore.

I don't know anymore.

I don't know anymore.

I don't know anymore.

My roommate told me I was crying in my sleep. Now that's definitely something new. I open my phone and see a message from Takumi.

Naturally, my face lights up for the first time in months.

"I won't be able to come this year on Christmas either. I'm sorry." It reads.

And naturally, my heart shatters into small pieces again.

I don't blame him, I decide.

Its not his fault. He must be having a hard time already. Fitting in must be hard. He dislikes England and its bland weather. He loathes the Walker family, but when I saw his picture on the front cover of a magazine in a party. I started to think he's truly become from Takumi Usui to Takumi Walker.

I placed that picture with the utmost care in my drawers. It's the most recent picture I have of him after all. I opened my scrapbook and stuck another magazine cut out of my "boyfriend"…and tears follow.

The fifth year,

I don't think I can handle it anymore. His ringtone buzzes on my phone and the hair on my hands stand up. We talked little this year, like the previous ones. Ever since he became the reliable doctor of the Raven castle, he's been even busier. He told me it was hectic, to look after his grandfather and step brother the entire day. I smiled and nodded and cheered him on. I told him to do his best and to concentrate better on his work. He seemed happy. Content. I felt sad, unwanted, not needed.

"I—I…I—…" the words are stuck in my throat as I break down while having a conversation with him. He has no idea how I've felt all these years because my bad habit of keeping a strong façade. He has no idea how much I've cried, how many nights I spent awake, how much I missed him…

He doesn't know a thing.

"What's wrong?" His voice echoes through the other side of the phone, I try to fake a laugh "Hah…ah…sore throat." I told him, it was close to midnight at his place and I didn't want him to stay up late, so I faked being busy and cut the call.

Ta…Takumi

How would it feel to address him with his first name in five years? I wonder as I stare at the ceiling, I managed to reach the hospital due to my recklessness. I feel so bad for making everyone worry. I should have been more careful with myself. I should have.

"Misaki? Are you up?" A voice echoes from outside my private room in the hospital. Its my mother. I can hear her talking over the phone. It must be dad. I decide to not speak anything.

"I see, well then, I'll let you know, Usui-kun." She speaks through the phone and I jolt up the moment I hear that name. U-Usui?

He could have called me instead.

Or could it be…that my mom called him!?

More tears.

How did this become an endless cycle?

Two weeks later, a text comes on my phone. Today is my graduation day. I check my phone and the message read:

"Happy Graduation day, Misaki~!

How are you?

 _We haven't talked for a long time_."

Anger arose within me and I felt the sudden urge to throw this phone on the wall. I stare at it for a long time. This was two weeks after the hospital incident that Takumi sent me a pathetic message. Did he really not miss me? Does he even care anymore? How long will I keep on to this weak thread that we have? I don't know. My face falls and I type a few words and switch my phone off.

" _I know, let's keep it that way_."

We don't talk anymore.

We don't talk anymore,

And I'm fine with it now.

 **TAKUMI POV**

We don't talk anymore.

We don't talk anymore.

We don't talk anymore like we used to.

I know, I'm the one at fault here.

But what else can I do?

I punch the bag harder leaving the gym instructor astonished. He stares at me blankly and I feel like punching him instead.

Its fucking hard for me. To endure. To stay detached. To ignore her.

I don't want to know what she's doing.

How she's being.

Who she's talking to.

Why? Because it'll drive me insane. The thought of her being so far away from me kills me already. Being not able to something about it gets me undone. I throw a few more kicks and punches till the punching bag drops down.

I move over to the other equipment as I try to release some more stress. It's fucking maddening to be stuck here—so away from her.

I restrain myself from talking to her much.

Why? Not because I want to, because I have to.

If I won't I know I'll go crazy. I've always been crazy jealous and possessive when it came to Ayuzawa. I don't understand how my mind and body works when I'm thinking of her. I'd go crazy with the pain and endurance.

When it gets too much, I text her back, or call her.

Its ridiculous, how much pain I put her through.

She should just leave me and move on with her life. I think bitterly, I know it must be hard on her. But it's the only way I'll be able to survive through this exile period. I can't fucking wait to be free from all the chains I'm bound to.

Then I'll be just me and her.

My hands and her body.

My kisses on her lips.

My touch on her skin.

I run a hand through my hair, she calls me a perverted alien for a reason, right?

 _Oh I'll show you how perverted I can be_ , Ayuzawa. I promise to myself. I won't spare her the moment I see her, I swear.

Here we go again.

I drag my palm over my face in frustration.

This is why I need to work hard.

This is why I need my grandfather and Gerard restored to proper health.

This is why I shouldn't talk to Ayuzawa much, even if it kills me.

It's not enough.

It's not enough.

It's not enough, I know.

But one day,

One day it will be.

Just you wait for me, Ayuzawa. I smile as I stare at her picture. I look in front at the other guys who were challenging me for a workout.

They're out of luck today.

Because by the time I'll be through with them, my pent up frustration will be gone, and so will their teeth.

 **I admit, this was pretty random, but it just clicked. How was it? I'm not sure if this is how it ends, I have another part planned, entitled "Enough" or something. I don't know yet. Let me know if I should write the second chapter or whatever.**

 **I admit, the first part of this fic was pretty personal and something that I've felt and been through myself some time ago. I won't go deep into it, but I guess I was pretty stupid for a guy who didn't give a shit about me. Even after he moved out, to UK or something. Yeah, that's MissKireiUchiha for you guys, I've been fucking stupid and I've become fucking twisted and incapable of loving because of the similar reasons. Hell, I don't even know why I'm typing this into an author note. But whatever, I've been through a lot because of that. I was even depressed and numb for a long time. And to those of you who might be going through something similar, please. Don't let yourself drown for someone who wouldn't even pull you back to the shore. Talk to someone about it, resolve your feelings. Don't destroy yourself like I did. Talk. Share what you feel. And if you don't have anyone to talk to, I'm here for you. Because I know what it feels like, to have nobody.**

 **Well, fuck me for such a random and personal footnote. Just let me know what you thought of whatever I wrote.**

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	2. Chapter 2

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 **ENOUGH**

The first year.

Misaki stared at the picture Aoi had shown her. Takumi had been featured on the front page of an international magazine with the title "The Prince finally returns!" She stared at the picture, indeed, this was the first picture she'd seen of Takumi since he had gone to England. Even though they could always video call, their timings never matched, and whenever Takumi was free someone would be keeping an eye on him. When Misaki would be free, Takumi would either be sleeping or doing some work his grandfather gave him. Naturally, they didn't get much chance to communicate.

"Oy? What are you spacing out for?" Aoi's voice echoed through the empty staff room. Misaki laughed awkwardly and shook him off "Nothing at all, I'll get back to work now." She spoke and left with hunched shoulders. Aoi sighed and placed the magazine in her duffel bag, he knew she'd be thankful to him for this.

Meanwhile, Misaki sighed as she leaned against the wall of the changing room. A smile crept up her face as the picture was clear in her mind.

This was enough for now.

The second year.

Takumi paced his bedroom with his hands in his pocket. He had gotten a half assed message from Tora which made his brains go crazy. The jerk hadn't told him what was going on but he felt like it was something related to Misaki.

He better had not tried anything with her.

Or else.

He left the thought at that, the darkness of his words scared him. He knew he would flip if anything happened to his favourite Ayuzawa but it was a topic he didn't like to think much about. It would distract him more than it should.

Was that Misaki?

Takumi blinked twice, he'd pulled her into his own room. She smiled and told him everything. Takumi ruffled her hair, it had been too long since he'd done that.

"I'm really grateful to Tora for doing this though." She said with a small smile. Takumi's eyes narrowed at that name, yeah. He too was grateful and all but right now all his mind was screaming was "CONCENTRATE ON ME".

Instincts took over and he took a step towards her. She took a step backwards. The game continued till Misaki's leg collided with the bed and she fell down. Takumi kissed her forehead as he hovered over her. Misaki pulled him close and he pressed his lips against her own.

"Misaki" he'd wanted to call her by her first name for a while now, but this was the only chance he got. The gesture took her by surprise and her eyes widened whilst a blush covered her face.

"Wh-What are you?" she asked, Takumi could see how her hands shook. He held her chin with a smile. "I figured, since I have a name too, why not you call me by it, Misaki?" he tilted his neck and kissed her cheek as he rubbed her back soothingly.

The calming gesture made her heart beat faster. She was, by no means, calming down. She closed her eyes as his name came out as a stutter. "Ta…k-mi" she murmured embarrassedly. Takumi, bewildered and beyond mesmerized, surprised her with a kiss on the lips. "Once again…" He requested softly in her ears.

She complied with a better voiced "Takumi". A smile followed as Takumi graced her with another kiss.

For now, this was…this was…enough.

The fifth year.

Takumi stared blankly at his reflection in the mirror. Misaki's last text had been "Let's keep it that way" when he'd wrote that they hadn't talked in a long time. He ran a hand through his hair pitifully with a painful smile on his face. The sight would have been enough to break anyone's heart.

He straightened out his blazer as he kept a straight face on. A glance at the wrist watch had told him that he had neither the time nor the luxury to be late and wallow in sorrow. Pitiful isn't it? Its not like he could do much about it other than putting his emotions aside and get the work done. Finally a doctor, Takumi was concentrating on curing his grandfather and brother so that he could step down from the CEO position which he had taken to look after the business while they were sick. Sure, it was hectic to look after them and the business. But its not like he had any other options if he wanted to see Misaki again.

Another day passed since he'd read the text and he was feeling more and more pathetic. He was on the verge of breaking down. Even geniuses had weaknesses, someone had told him once. He thought about Misaki as he sat on the floor with his hands in his hair. He had locked himself up in his own room, requesting some privacy to rest for a while.

He thought about Misaki, he thought about her silky black hair which must have gotten longer since he'd last seen her, he thought about the heart pendant that lay in the centre of her collarbone and how he'd never been more jealous of a piece of jewellery like that, he also thought about her voice, her smile, her palms. He thought and thought until he felt his phone buzz.

It was her.

He was quick to pick up the call. She remained silent at first, but listening to the sound of her breathing calming him. He heard her trying to block out a sniff, and a hoarse cry. She had been crying—all because of a bastard like him.

"You know you're transparent to me, right?" he said with a small smile as he ran a hand through his hair. His throat tightened when she pretended to laugh a bit.

But then the act of pretence broke and she cried into the phone—unable to control herself due to the vast spectrum of emotions she felt upon hearing his voice after such a long time. He said nothing.

They both cried that night.

"I'm sorry." He said as he leaned against the wall and stared at the ceiling "I'm so sorry."

"Its not your fault." She said with a sniff, he could almost imagine her puffing her nose and sitting up straight. He laughed. Of course this was his fault. If only things weren't so complicated…

"It's going to be fine," Misaki said in a reassuring voice as she cleared her throat, "One day…one day it will be enough…"

And for him, this was enough.

The seventh year.

Misaki walked hurriedly in the airport terminal dragging her suitcase along as she walked. Her heels clanked with the clean tiles of the terminal and she managed to turn many heads with her elegance. But she didn't have time for that. Now a diplomat, she didn't get much time off her shifts while she was working in another country, but today, she was making an exception.

Finding a cab was easy, and she lifted the suitcase and put it in when the driver took too long. He looked at her with widened eyes but didn't say a word. Maybe he understood that she was in a hurry after all.

"Hotel Rushmore" she breathed as the cab drove away. Her heart was in her mouth the entire time as she placed her warm hands on her cheek. The weather was as bland and cold as ever, but her body was heated up by nervousness.

She stared at the buildings, the people on the highway, the monuments they passed. Even though there was no silence, she could hear her own heartbeat so clearly. She was going crazy from anxiousness. How many years has it been? Five? Six? She lost count.

But she didn't.

She remembered the exact date, and the time when she had last seen him. The wait was killing her and her brain was plainly fucking with her. She was starting to think that she's gone completely inside.

"Almost there" The taxi driver told her and she nodded with a polite smile. She fixed her appearance. Her legs kept shaking and she could feel her fingers tremble too. Nothing could make her act like this. Nothing.

The cab driver left her off right in front of Hotel Rushmore, which was located on the other side of the road. She looked at the large and lavish building as she crossed the road and saw a glimpse of her flustered self in the glass door.

"A reservation for Ayuzawa." She informed the receptionist and she checked her records. "I'm sorry Ma'am, there is no reservation in the name of Ayuzawa." she said and Misaki smiled awkwardly.

"Try Usui."

The receptionist nodded and found the reservation easily. Misaki showed her ID before the receptionist could ask and signed her name with shaking hands. The girl behind the desk gave her the directions and Misaki was on her way.

The elevator ride didn't take long and Misaki found herself standing right in front of room number 601. She knocked politely as her heart hammered in her chest.

The door opened with a soft click and Takumi stood on the other side of the doorframe. Misaki, who had been looking down at the floor due to nervousness, could only notice that he was barefooted when he pulled her harshly and she collided into his chest.

He threw the door harshly causing it to be slammed shut with a large amount of force. She was pinned down to the wall when Takumi kissed her as he held her shoulders.

It had been too long.

Too long.

It wasn't until moments later when Takumi bit her lower lip that she regained her breath. Takumi pulled her close and she landed on his chest. He seemed to have calmed down from his rampage. Misaki smiled as she hugged him tighter with teary eyes. He smiled sheepishly as he let her go so she could breathe again.

"I missed you" She was quick to confess, looking straight into his eyes. Takumi ran a hand through his hair as he tried to hide his smile, he loved when she was honest in these moments.

"I missed you too" He spoke as he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, he was more than a foot taller than her now. Perhaps he had even taller in the span of five ears. He kept looking at her face though, as if he was trying to remember every feature of hers before they had to separate again.

Lost in thought, he didn't realize when Misa pulled him down and kissed him fiercely again. He tasted her love and the fire he loved about her in their kiss, and smiled as she pushed him back—which had been unintentional, but it caused Takumi to land on the bed down like a starfish. Takumi merely chuckled as he fell down and dragged her down on his chest by pulling her wrist along.

"What are you doing?" She breathed heavily as she landed on top of him, he merely smiled as he cupped her cheek "No, what are _you_ doing?"

"You made me so miserable the last five years" she murmured honestly with a hiccup as she looked at him with a glare, eyes filled with anger and unshed tears. He knew she was right, so he kept silent. "It was like you had completely disregarded my existence! Do you know how that made me feel?" She snapped as she placed a kiss on his cheek again, "You made me feel so unwanted, Takumi" she stuttered as tears started to fall down relentlessly even though how much she tried to hide. She bit his lower lip as a few tears fell down on his cheek.

"Why?" She asked as she held his collars, "WHY!?" her voice snapped and broke as she cried freely, pushing and pulling him by the collar angrily as she sat on top of him with legs on either side. "Why would you ignore me like that?" She looked at him with a broken smile as her hands trembled and she let his shirt collar go, and covered her face with her palms as she finally broke down into tears.

"Because" The words were stuck in his throat as he looked at her crying. He had never seen her like that before even though they had been together since high school. She had never complained or anything before but he had known just how much pain he put her through. Now that she had finally snapped, it felt like a slap to his soul.

"Because I knew I wouldn't be control myself if I did" He confessed as he removed her palms on her face, she looked at him as she wiped her face.

He sighed as he sat up, causing her to fall down in his lap. She could swear she saw the color of his emerald eyes darken as he cupped her cheek "It drove me insane—not being there with Ayuzawa. I didn't want to know what you were doing, or what you were wearing, or who you were with, or whatever" he held her wrist and pressed a kiss on it "Because it would drive me insane, and I would start imagining bad scenarios—and not being there when you need me the most was something I couldn't stomach," he looked away, "I'm a very possessive man, Misa. I don't think I can handle my actions when I'm not with you."

"What do you—"

"You won't get it." He snapped as he threw her on the bed and ran a hand through his hair. "I just can't bear to be away from you, and the knowledge that I was in another continent would drive me crazy." He said as he dangerously crawled and hovered over her as he traced a finger down her neck "I know its selfish of me, but I had to control myself to not snap and become a monster. I'd have kept you to myself every moment of these five years if I could." He smirked as her face turned red, despite the gloomy talk they were having. "I haven't seen that blush in five years, you know. It's turning me on."

"You're a jerk, that's what you are." She said as she looked away, he turned her head to the side, "Now, Ayuzawa. Do you want to fight in the remaining time we have or just, let me reward you?" He tilted his head with a sweet smile enough to make anyone's heart melt. Misaki Ayuzawa was no exception.

"Reward me?" She looked at him.

"Of course" He said as he placed a kiss on her neck "A reward for being so patient for me." He said as his hands went straight towards the buttons on her shirt.

Takumi kissed her forehead as they walked towards the plane. Misaki, who had been blushing a lot, walked hand in hand as Takumi dragged her suitcase. "I promise to communicate more." He said as they reached the place where they would part ways.

"You better, or I'll find someone else." Misaki joked with a chuckle as she looked straight trying to find the security area. She didn't notice until Takumi had stopped walking, she turned towards him and saw a very dark look on his face.

"I was kidding, haha" She smiled awkwardly as Takumi looked at her with a very serious face.

He ran a hand through his hair as he pulled her close and kissed her in public for everyone to see. "You shouldn't joke about such things." He spoke in her ear, "My dark side is not very pleasant." He reminded her, "And even if you tried to find someone _else"_ he laughed "He'd be a dead man before he tried anything on you."

"Should a doctor be talking about taking someone's life?" Misaki looked away, she had forgotten for a moment that he had the audacity to kiss her in public.

"Should you be talking about finding someone else then?" He said as he looked straight into his eyes.

Misa sighed "I was joking. JOKING"

"Fine" Takumi said as he smiled and kissed her forehead again "I'll let this one slide, just take care of yourself while your master is away."

"How many kisses are you going to plant on me?! Haven't you had enough?" she said the last part very slowly as her face turned red, thinking about what all had conspired in that damned hotel room.

"I could never have enough of Ayuzawa, but this will hold me for a while~" He smiled as he kissed her hair "Anyway, it's time I let you go now." He said as he looked at the sign boards, it was time.

"Snap, I'm late" Misaki said as she looked at her wrist watch. "I better get moving."

"Take care, okay?" Takumi said as he looked at her worriedly "Don't skip your meals or over work yourself. I love you" He said with a smile. Misaki looked down with a smile "I love you too" she said as she kissed his cheek out of the blue catching him off guard.

"Never cease to amaze me, do you?" Takumi smiled as she walked away.

"I will never cease to amaze you." She murmured as she walked away from Takumi with a smile. Even though they met for a short amount of time, she had enjoyed it. She felt happy and content. The butterflies in her stomach made her feel like as a bubble. This was just what she had needed for a long time. This was just what she wanted. This…this was enough.

The tenth year.

Takumi smiled as he laid her down on the bed. The wedding had been tiring, and they had finally escaped everyone and everything, thanks to that Tora. He had helped her out of the dress that looked so pretty on her. Saying that this was the happiest day of his life would be an understatement.

"Quit staring." Misaki said embarrassedly as she looked at him with a blush, today was the happiest day of her life. After so many years of separation, they were finally together.

"Can't" Takumi teased as he kissed her cheek "You're so beautiful." He confessed as he held a few strands of her short hair in his hand "I never thought I'd get so turned on by a haircut" he grinned victoriously, "I can't believe we're married."

"I can't believe I married a perverted outer space alien" Misaki said with a laugh as Takumi pouted.

"But you love this alien" Takumi said, his happiness couldn't be hidden even if he tried. Misaki nodded with a blush as he kissed her neck and possibly left a mark.

Takumi had realized over the last couple of years, that it could never be enough when it came to Misaki. It would never be enough. But, it was okay that it was never enough. It always lead him into anticipating what could happen next. She was always full of surprises to him and he loved that about her.

It was never enough, but it didn't have to be.

 **THE END**

 **Author's note: How was it? I was going to add an extra section titled "Kirei's story" but I didn't because it felt too irrelevant. Anyway, I'll update the other stories later. Tell me how this turned out. Much Love- MissKirei.**


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